My Son Tells His Birth Story
My 2 year old son recently started talking to me about his birth. His birth was very traumatic for me and it is what started me on this road to birth activism. Certain things that happened during his birth were forced on me, and other things I consented to under duress. When the midwife decided to break my water when I was dilated to 9.5 centimeters, I had little choice in the matter. I technically consented, but it was very clear that this was not what I wanted. I had always secretly imagined that my baby would be born in the caul (the amniotic sac), and apparently that was his intention as well. The link below is his birth story, told by him, interpreted by me. It is important to note that I didn’t discuss these events with him before this, nor did I truly believe that children could remember their births until this happened. I tried not to lead him, but simply interpret what he was trying to tell me, as I always do in any situation.
Here is his story: Owen Remembers His Birth
Owen has a craniosacral therapist that we were working with before this happened, and now we are working with her specifically on his birth issues. He is still going through a tough stage as far as separation anxiety goes, but it has gotten better. He has mentioned his birth a few times since this happened. A couple times he mentioned coming out of a big hole, but then quickly dropped the subject after that. I’ve been able to talk to him more about his separation from me right after the birth, and he seems to be dealing with that a little better. His verbal skills have dramatically increased in the last couple months, and I am considering bringing the subject up again to see if he can explain things better now that he has more words.
This story with my son really showed me that newborns are sentient beings that have an emotional reaction to interventions that are done during the birth process and the procedures done afterwards. The fact that my son has such a sadness about the 20 minute separation that we endured directly after his birth really shows me that he was very aware of what was happening. I wish that care providers and nurses knew this about newborns. If they did, perhaps they would not be so eager to snatch them away from their mothers in those first hours and days after they are born.
ETA: Also in November of 2007 I took these photos of Owen seemingly working through his birth by using sheer material: Photos of Owen
In May of 2008 I posted some of Owen’s recollections of his birth once he became verbal: Owen Remembers His Birth Some More
Patient Responsibility
We spend a lot of time talking about what’s wrong with the system. I think as we start to look towards a new year and begin to think about how we’d like to make changes to ourselves in the new year, it’s time to add patient responsibility to the list.
Yes, your doctor or midwife has responsibility to you. They need to provide you with sound medical advice that is evidenced based, they need to provide you a listening ear and open communications, they need to be there when you call for help or advice and many other things. Some people believe that their personal responsibility as a patient ends as soon as their bill is paid. This is far from the truth.
As a patient, you must be open and honest with your midwife or doctor. You should tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, because if you don’t, you might be withholding key information that could mean a lot, even if you think its inconsequential. You need to be on time for your appointments and ready to discuss your questions and concerns. You also need to speak up and say what’s on your mind, even if that is something that you and your practitioner disagree on.
Remember, that in the end the relationship you have with the person you have hired to help you in birth is a two way street. They can only help you if you tell them what you need 0 even if that is a new practitioner. Being open and honest ensures that both parties have a positive outcome and a more pleasurable and safe birth.
Related links:
Babies Need Time to Breastfeed
Recently, I attended a birth of a baby who was born a month early. She had good muscle tone and a strong cry. The extra staff members that came to examine her agreed that she was healthy. So when the mother was finished with the placenta, I suggested that the time was right for breastfeeding. We talked about proper alignment and tried several positions. The mother squeezed some colostrum from her nipple and let the baby taste it. We waited for the baby to open her mouth wide enough, mother poised with areola ready. The baby latched on - hooray! - then let go. Ok, let’s try that again…..And again….the baby was sucking one time and releasing her latch.
We stimulated the reflex point in the roof of her mouth as a reminder that it’s time to suckle. Once she got the hang of it, I took my finger away. The mother was ready to get the baby latched on. This time she stayed. I felt triumphant, watching this little creature nurse and seeing her mother’s worries slip away.
Within minutes - like 5 - the nurse came and insisted that she take the baby upstairs to the nursery. She said, “Well, it’s been an hour, so I need to take your baby. They’re going to be looking for your baby upstairs.” The mother, who was exhausted and probably didn’t realize how long the baby had actually nursed or how long it takes to get your baby back from the nursery, pulled the baby off of the breast and handed her right over to the nurse.
There is nothing happening in the nursery that is more important than giving each baby sufficient time to breastfeed, even if a nurse is expecting a new patient. What matters most is whether or not the baby was given as much time as she needed for breastfeeding. Baths, eye ointment, injections, measurements; these are not things that need to happen immediately following birth. Breastfeeding is known to be most successful when it begins within the first hour after birth. If the first hour is taken with procedures, then mother and baby need more time.
Non-emergency newborn care is fairly simple: When the baby is born, make sure he is warm and dry and breathing. Then feed him. Everything else can wait!
Patient Advocates
I recently found a site and blog called Every Patient’s Advocate with information on patient advocacy. It was quite interesting. Here’s the deal in my field, we already have a ton of patient advocates, probably more so than any other medical specialty out there - doulas.
Doulas are specially trained to help women and their families make decisions about their medical care during pregnancy through early parenting. Doulas help women research and find out all of their choices, not just the choices on the surface or readily offered by an eager doctor or midwife, but all of the choices. Doulas help women gain the information that they need to make informed choices that work for them - individualized care, not cookie cutter obstetrics.
Doulas can help with the following:
- 50% reduction in the cesarean rate
- 25% shorter labor
- 60% reduction in epidural requests
- 40% reduction in oxytocin use
- 30% reduction in analgesia use
- 40% reduction in forceps delivery
Information was obtained from Mothering the Mother: How a Doula Can Help You Have a Shorter Easier and Healthier Birth, Klaus, Kennell, and Klaus (1993).
In addition to doulas, think of how the childbirth educator serves as the educational arm of the pregnant woman’s life. Health education in general is taking a lesson from Lamaze and other leaders in the field of health education and trying to encourage patients to know something about what’s going on rather than blindly putting their faith in a fallible system.
Have you secured your patient advocate yet? If not what are you waiting for?
Knowledge is Power!
Obstetricians and nurses who work in hospital labor and delivery units are notoriously mired in routines and standard operating procedures regardless of scientific evidence that contradict them. Some examples of this are artificial rupture of the membranes, continuous electronic fetal monitoring, and separation of mom and baby following birth. For pregnant women who wish to buck this system, one of the best weapons to have is a knowledge of the evidence. Here are two of my favorite places to gain power, er, knowledge:
- Lamaze Research Summaries for Normal Birth
- Childbirth Connection, featuring A Guide to Effective Care in Pregnancy and Childbirth
These two resources are particularly good because the information is presented in easily-digested language, but with citations for those who wish to go straight to the source for the complete study.
The only way current medical birth practices will ever change is if the consumers themselves demand it. So start demanding better care!
Birth Data
Every year, the CDC compiles a list of birth data. This includes the cesarean rate for that year, the vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) rates, teen pregnancies and more fields than you probably can imagine. The last year we have data for is 2005. Typically the data for the next year is released in November, but we are expecting the preliminary birth data for 2006 to be released on December 5th.
In 2005 the cesarean rate was 30.2%. I’m predicting that the cesarean rate has gone up and that the VBAC rate has gone down. What’s your guess?
Technology and Birth
I will be the first to admit that I really love technology. Technology helps me cook my food faster, stay connected to people far away, get information quickly and even lightens my load of housework. I think that these are true statements for most people. So it only seem normal for us to accept technology into other areas of our life.
The problem is that there are some areas of our lives that we probably don’t want technology in!For example, do you want a robot that kisses your lover for you? Or hugs your kids? Wouldn’t you prefer to do that one your self?
When we invite technology into the birthing room, we’re basically applying the same technology that we apply to our office and productivity to our bodies and birth. The thing is it frequently doesn’t work. One of the many mysteries of the world is still how the complete and complex process of birth works. By adding technology when we really don’t know how it all works together, we interrupt or stall certain parts of the process. A wise person once said that a ripple made on this side of the pond also causes stirrings elsewhere in the pond. These ripples aren’t as innocent as we believe them to be. Each of these small intrusions into birth cause the process to be altered and not always in a positive way. When this happens, there is a “system failure” and we call on the ultimate in technological birth, the cesarean surgery.
So remember when you’re in the middle of a physiologically normal birth, that each intervention has a ramification that we can’t always predict or control. Ask yourself, is this technology something that we really need to birth our baby?
On This Day of Rampant Consumerism…
Consider buying the babies in your life some safe and natural toys, free of harsh chemicals and lead. Here is a great place to get started; cool mom picks.
Thankful…
It wouldn’t really be Thanksgiving if I didn’t tell you what I was thankful for, would it? So I’m going to give you a list of things I’m thankful for as it relates to birth!
- I’m thankful for the inner wisdom of women to give birth.
- I’m thankful for all the doulas out there helping women reach their goals in birth.
- I’m thankful for the midwives who work long hours and are really caught between a rock (medical community) and a hard place (the families they serve).
- I’m thankful for the physicians who are out there trying to make a difference from within the system.
- I’m thankful for women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to do everything within their power to get it.
- I’m thankful for powerful drugs that prevent or cure infections or stop hemorrhage - when needed.
- I’m thankful for life saving surgeries used at appropriate times.
- I’m thankful for the lactation consultants who also have an uphill battle to help women do something that should come so naturally.
- I’m thankful for nurses who do the grunt work and get very little credit for it.
- I’m thankful for all the birth advocates, in whatever way you’re helping, for doing your small part to change the birth environments in your neck of the woods to be a safer place for moms and babies.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it Safe to Eat Fish during Pregnancy?
At this time of year, we all have food on our minds.
One question that pregnant women and mothers of small children frequently ask is,”Is it Safe to Eat Fish?”
There are many health benefits of eating good quality fish. The fish oil supports brain function and steadies the emotions. Women who consume fish or fish oil regularly during pregnancy have a lower rate of postpartum depression. Fish oil is also good for treating joint inflammation and ADD.
The following link offers a handy tool for consumers. The Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch program has created a printable business card sized list of safe fish, moderately safe fish and fish to avoid eating.
http://www.montereybayaquarium.com/cr/cr_seafoodwatch/download.asp
Here is an article on the benefits of eating fish:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/05/21/health/main554952.shtml
And if you’re someone who doesn’t like the taste of fish or fish oil, I can tell you that the flavored supplements in capsule form are easy to swallow and taste great. Strawberry is my favorite!
