Cesarean Recovery

With the number of cesarean sections increasing in our country annually, many women do not really understand or know that recovering from a cesarean section is much different from a vaginal delivery. After my first cesarean section I learned this the hard way and wish I had a couple tips on making recovery more bearable.  But we often forget that the recovery after a cesarean birth is not just physical, but it is also emotional for a large portion of cesarean section mothers.

The different types of healing to be considered are in the hospital, long term, when you return home with your new baby, and also things you should be aware of such as when to call your health care provider post cesarean. (I also want to thank ICAN and their Recovering from a Cesarean White Paper in aiding to my post today)

While in the hospital :

• Get as much help as you can from family members, your partner, nurses, and other hospital staff. That is what they are there for and during the hours, and days immediately after your surgery, you will need it even if you do not want it.
• Stay hydrated and eat. You may not want to eat, but working on eating a well balanced and healthy diet, as well as staying hydrated (stay away from sugary drinks such as fruit juice and soda) will help to make you start to feel semi human again.
• If private rooms are available opt for one so someone (family member or friend) can stay with you to help you during this time.
• Use a pillow between your legs, and/or on your side to help sleep to be more comfortable. In the days, and even weeks following your cesarean it will not be easy to get comfortable. This is completely normal.  It took me almost a full 2 months to even get comfortable in my own bed at home after my second c-section.
• Take pain medication that is being offered if you are in pain. With my first child, I was breastfeeding and was overly concerned about any of the medications being transfused though my milk so I opted for over the counter pain medication such as motrin instead. But it certainly made my recovery longer, and made taking care of my son harder. (As ICAN recommends, ask your provider about a stool softener, as narcotic pain medication can cause constipation.)
• Get up and walk around.  It may hurt like hell, but it will help to get you back on your feet sooner rather than later. The longer you wait, the more painful it will get up, and the harder it will be.
• The use of a pillow to protect your stomach while coughing, standing up, nursing or moving around in bed is a smart idea.
• Do not hesitate to ask for a lactation consultant in the hospital. Breastfeeding after a cesarean section is more difficult not just for mom because of her incision, but also for baby. Check out the ICAN white paper on Breastfeeding After a Cesarean.

The first couple days in the hospital may feel like you are dying, I know because I have been there, but in most cases, you will only get better. When you get home, there are some more great tips for healing, although your housework may suffer for the first couple weeks, I am sure no one will mind too much.

When you get home :

• Focus on yourself, and your baby. You just had major surgery and your baby needs you.
• Have your partner help/do the household chores. Laundry, dishes, cooking, or anything else that needs to be done. Don’t worry, you can put off the dusting, cleaning the bathroom, mopping, and all the big chores for a couple weeks, your house won’t be mad at you!
• Do not lift anything that is heavier than your baby for at least 4-6 weeks. Those infant carriers/carseats are tempting to pick up, especially when going to an appointment for you or your baby, but stay away from it. You do not want to hurt yourself, or have an extended recovery.
• Ask others for help. If you have older children it may be helpful for your partner to take some time off from work, or have an available family member come over to help you. During the first weeks after my second cesarean section my toddler not only got the flu, but I was the only person he wanted making it difficult on me because I could not pick him up.
• Take it slow!  Get back into your normal household routine over a long period of time. You do not want to over do it because you will certainly pay for it later on.
• Have access to baby stuff such as diapers, bottles, burp cloths, wipes, or whatever you and your baby need for a couple hours in several places around the house. If your bed is the only place you are comfortable, make sure you can set yourself up to be able to hang out with baby, change diapers, and everything else you need right there.
• Co-Sleep!  Room in with your baby, so when it comes time for midnight feedings, you do not need to get up or go far to take care of your little one.
• If you have school age children, have others help to prepare their lunches, lay out clothes for the next day and anything else that needs to be done. To spend quality time, sit on the couch, or someplace comfortable and assist them with their home work, or read a book. Find ways to spend time other than anything that may put a physical strain on you.
• Considering hiring a post partum doula. They can really be heaven sent in a post cesarean situation!
• Don’t push yourself. If you want to take a shower and get dressed for the day, make that your only goal for the day.
• Pajamas are your best friend. They are comfortable, and help to remind others you are still recovering from major surgery.
• Remember how important it is to continue to remain well hydrated, and eating healthy.

Many do not think of the long term or emotional recovery of a cesarean section. I personally did not even encounter the emotional recovery until my cesarean baby was 3 months old. Be gentle on yourself, you aren’t the first to go through this, but many people around you may treat your feelings like nothing because cesarean sections have become so common. I can’t tell you how the phrase “a healthy baby is all that matters” feels to me still today.  Do not let others discount your feelings on your experience.

For your long term recovery…

• Contact your local ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) chapter. These are women who have been there, and done that and know how you feel and what you are going through. They are an excellent support system internationally and are such a huge blessing for many mothers. I know they were to me!
• Write out a birth story, express your feelings on paper, or on a blog, get it out. Keeping your feelings inside may be harder in the long run.
• Keep your baby as close to you as possible for as long as you can.

If you experience any of the following symtoms or problems, you should contact your care provider immediately.

• Any type of bleeding from your incision.
• Leaking, redness, or any type of fluids coming from your incision.
• If your pain does not decrease over time.
• Symptoms of post partum depression such as anxiety, fear, problems sleeping, depression, or anything else you may equate with something more than just the baby blues.
• Cramping or pain in your arms or legs that will not go away.
• Continuous headaches, migraines, or backaches.

Over all, be gentle on yourself.
You just went through major surgery!

Loyally Devoted to Doctor

I recently read the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N Aron, Ph.D. In the chapter called Medics, Medication, and Highly Sensitive People, the author states:

“Keep in mind, too, that it is common to feel an attachment to anyone you have been with during an arousing experience, especially if it was a truly painful or emotionally significant ordeal. In the medical realm you hear these sorts of extra feelings when people describe their surgeon or women talk about the person who delivered their child, which is perfectly normal. The solution is simply to know why it happens and compensate for it appropriately.”

In the chapter about relationships, she talks about studies that were done that showed people are far more likely to fall in love under stressful circumstances. She applied this phenomenon to attachment in all relationships, not just romantic relationships. Later when I read the above statement in the medical chapter, so many things started to make sense to me.

Why do women love their maternity care provider, even when they may have done unnecessary procedures on them and not allowed them to make their own choices? Why do many providers use scare tactics? Why do women hold so adamantly to the belief that their provider “saved their life” or “saved their baby” or “was a great doctor” or “really took good care of me”, even when evidence to the contrary is right in front of them? Why do they fail to make important connections, such as that their c-section may have been one of the many unnecessary ones, or that there may not have been a true evidence based need for their induction? Why is childbirth treated like a major emergency with so much fear and anxiety around it? Why aren’t all women who give birth in this system severely traumatized from it, and instead defend and adore their doctors? The answer is simple: the culture of fear that surrounds childbirth actually endears women to their doctors. It cements the relationship between women, their doctors, and the hospitals their doctors practice at. It ensures that the women will keep coming back, and will recommend their providers to all their friends as they speak about them in glowing heroic terms. It is quite brilliant really, providers and hospitals have found the key to running a very successful business, and it has nothing to do with allowing women to make their own choices. They simply have to give the illusion prenatally that the woman can make her own choices for her birth, and then make sure that the actual experience of birth is one filled with fear, anxiety, and of course a healthy baby, and then the narcissistic provider will come out looking like roses to the woman who must endure the “horrors of childbirth”.

Of course, I am not really giving the doctors the benefit of the doubt here. They likely don’t know on a conscious level what they are really doing. They have been trained to act this way, by people who were also trained to act this way, and it is reinforced for them every time a woman profusely thanks her doctor for a job well done, and every time a woman tells her birth horror story where the good doctor makes an appearance as the hero who delivers her baby to her despite all the dangers that presented at the last minute. Both the woman and the doctor seem ignorant of the psychological effects that framing every average birth as a medical emergency creates.

In the statement above, the author states: “it is common to feel an attachment to anyone you have been with during an arousing experience, especially if it was a truly painful or emotionally significant ordeal.” This describes childbirth perfectly. The word “arousing” here is referring to sensory levels. That can mean physically, emotionally, sexually, or any other assault to the senses, good or bad, that can be had. We know childbirth can be described as “arousing” in many ways. It is also inherently “painful” and “emotionally significant”. Even when women use drugs, there is still some level of pain before she took them, and depending on what type of drugs she took, she may still experience pain while she is taking them. So really, all births fit this criteria. Births in a hospital, or at home, or in a birth center all have these same basic elements. It seems women are wired to form an attachment to the people who were with her and helped her through the event. This could be her partner, her doula, her midwife, her doctor, her nurse, or her friend or relative. I think this type of attachment likely had an evolutionary purpose at one time. It would be ideal to attach to an older, wiser woman who assisted with the delivery of babies who would have been there to care for the mom postpartum, and to slowly help her to bond and form an attachment to the baby. This wise woman would then help the mother learn to breastfeed and care for her new infant, while slowly pulling back her own attentions from the situation. This is what we have in homebirth midwives today. How would our ancestors have fared if a man had shown up in the tribe to deliver a baby, and then disappeared immediately afterward? The woman would be left adoring him, yet not having help from him to form an attachment to her infant. Never learning how to breastfeed or other infant care skills. What would have become of humanity? What is becoming of humanity?

Midwives and doulas seem to understand this phenomenon. Doulas usually visit a woman once or twice postpartum and are available if she needs to talk or has questions about the baby, breastfeeding, or the birth. Midwives start seeing a woman more and more as the birth approaches, and then once the baby is born, they start to taper off again, seeing her less and less until she is no longer needed at all. This is a much more natural and appropriate response to caring for a woman during such a pivotal transition in her life. What happens when women see doctors or CNM’s in hospitals though? They are likely seeing a practice, not a specific provider. They will likely not give birth with the same doctor or CNM they saw prenatally. They may never see the same doctor or CNM again after they give birth, or perhaps just once at the six week checkup. How does this affect women emotionally, or in her relationship with her baby, when instead of having a slow winding away from her provider, there is just an abrupt ending to the relationship? Does this interfere with breastfeeding, or affect feelings of trauma related to the birth, or feelings of depression related to her new role as mother? It is ingrained in our psyche to attach to these people who help us through such a major event in our life. How will the people we choose handle this responsibility? Are we choosing someone who will corrupt our experience and force an unnatural attachment to them by creating more anxiety around the experience? Are we choosing someone who will be there for us days, weeks, and months later to answer our questions about the baby or to offer us emotional support? Will the person we choose even be available for the birth, and will we ever see them again afterward?

Now I realize why other women feel the way they do about their provider. I did not attach to my provider, I was instead extremely traumatized by her actions. I still wonder why some women are traumatized, and others fall in love with their providers, given the same set of circumstances. I wonder if it is actually more natural, and thus common, to attach to a provider even when (or perhaps especially when) that provider creates an atmosphere of fear. It makes sense then why so few of us are speaking up about the system and the way women are treated. It makes sense that women are extremely loyal to their providers, even when many aspects of their births were disappointing or upsetting to them. It makes sense that many women are reluctant to accept that there is anything wrong with maternity care. It makes sense why the maternity care system is so hard to change and is met with so much resistance from every side.

What can birth activists do to help women form healthy attachments during this transitional time in her life? It may be tempting to try to convince all women to have a homebirth with a midwife since we know that they are probably the best option for healthy attachments and a healthy weaning away as well, however, if a woman has already formed a strong attachment to a certain provider, it may be more realistic to recommend having a doula. A doula will be there prenatally, for the birth, and postpartum, and therefore can provide much of the physical and emotional support that new moms need and deserve. Some moms may hire a doula, yet keep her same provider that she has formed an attachment to, and others may find that a doula is a stepping stone to having a homebirth the next time. One day I hope that maternity care shifts to being centered around the mother again, and not around the provider and his schedule or routine.

The Duggar Family

I would like to extend my well wishes and thoughts to the Duggar Family though this difficult period of their lives after welcoming their 19th baby, Josie Brooklyn Duggar yesterday, December 11th 2009 via emergency cesarean section for Pre-E after a hospital stay due to gallstones. Baby Josie was born at 25 weeks gestation at 1 pound 6 ounces.

Over the past 24 hours I have seen some of this most disgusting comments via the internet on news articles, and just message boards. Whether Michelle was on her 3rd or 30th child, Pre-E can happen to anyone at any age and during any pregnancy. This family may live differently than the vast majority of Americans, but seriously, if you want to say something negative, say it when mother and baby are far out of the woods, not when a micro preemie is fighting to live.

Some people never cease to amaze me.

Michelle has been such an amazing asset to the VBAC community in having 12 VBAC’s herself.
I can only hope in future years she will continue to work with and praise ICAN like she has in the past.

Why Our Women are Afraid of Birth

Deliver Me

It is Tuesday, at 10pm while I settle in after getting my little ones to bed. I flip through the channels and settle on discovery healthy which is a personal favorite of mine, but it really has only recently become a favorite because of shows like I didn’t know I was pregnant. It fascinates me that women could make it though a full term pregnancy and not know they were pregnant, but that is just me, and the experiences that I had with my children is what makes me wonder how the heck women could not know they were pregnant.  But that is completely besides my point today.
So as I watch this show, I am noticing a trend. High risk, high risk, high risk, previous cesarean section, scheduled cesarean section, high risk, healthy first time mother, scheduled cesarean, high risk. Well I mean, that is how it is in Los Angeles right?  You would think so!  But apparently because only these crazy, scary, uncommon births make something called ratings, that is all they are going to feature on TV. Because in reality, no one wants to watch a natural birth or a home birth because no one is running around with a scalpel screaming about the emergency that childbirth is. Nor is the mother screaming for her epidural because she just cant deal with the pain of the 3 hours of labor so far.
But what we should be thinking about most importantly is the message this is sending. What is this teaching first time mothers or even young women that may not be planning on having children soon but will some day?  It is teaching them how scary, dangerous, and medical birth is supposed to be. But is that really how birth is? Of course not. Anyone who has taken the time to read the studies, and just not follow what mainstream society thinks is the right way to handle pregnancy will know that birth is not scary or dangerous or a huge emergency. While it can be in some cases, in most cases it can and will be beautiful when just left alone.

When a woman becomes pregnant today, if they do not already have an Obstetrician they have been seeing for well women care since 16, or whatever age their parent decided it was the right them for them, what is the first thing that they do? They ask around their circle of female friends for the best Doctor out there because isn’t that what we all want? We want the one who is the BMW of pre natal care. Little do women know that they are really going to end up with the 1990 Dodge Dynasty when they take this route because hands off is better.
But because our society has told us this is the way things should be, they run off like lemmings right off the cliff of medical interventions landing in the valley of cesarean sections.

Maybe if the television channels like Discovery health followed a dozen home births or even aired The Business of Being Born they could get a popular, and controversial other side to what they are constantly airing. Maybe it will boost their ratings even more, maybe not?  But what it will do is give the other side of the whole issue. Let’s get Marsden Wagner to do a half hour special on Birth in The United States and see how many women run off to the midwives.  Instead they air these disgustingly inaccurate “Freebirthing” shows. They find the one idiot who is going to make women who choose unassisted birth look like a bunch of uneducated yokels.  Which is exactly what they did with their special on Unassisted birth.

I guess in the end, like anything else the television airs, it is biased and we shouldn’t expect much different.

Best for Babes

If you haven’t yet seen the Best for Babes ad campaign you’re in for a treat.  And now you can use some of their ads on your website to help promote breastfeeding and help prevent the “bobby traps” women face in breastfeeding.

Tell Zales How You Feel About Breastfeeding & Diamonds

I rarely see commercials anymore thanks to my DVR.  But the other night I caught the standard sappy, Holiday fair from Zales Diamonds.  I was outraged within seconds when it showed a mom leaning over an empty crib while dad bottle fed a baby in the background.  I mean come on, wouldn’t it be better to give mom a diamond for breastfeeding?  Or even as a push present?  But this was just sad.  If you’re as outraged as I am, you can write them online or call them at: 1-800-311-JEWEL