I write this post not as a lactation professional, or a lactivist, or
even a breastfeeding supporter. I write it as a mom. A mom who has
spent the last two years of her life watching her child grow healthy
and strong with the help of my milk. Breastfeeding has been an amazing
accomplishment for us and has served us both well.
Breastfeeding did not start off easy for us. My daughter’s attempts to
nurse made me bleed and cry. Luckily, I knew that breastfeeding wasn’t
supposed to feel like this. Through a long combination of pumping, cup
feeding and reteaching her how to nurse, we became successful at
breastfeeding without pain. I am eternally grateful to the lactation
consultant who helped us and to my dear friend who went with us to
each appointment, holding my hand and reminding me that I was making
the best choice for my daughter.
Later we went through many stages in our nursing. We exclusively
breastfed through a dairy and soy allergy (whew, the money we could
have spent on prescription formula!) until my little one was six
months old. As we introduced complementary foods I thought to myself
“how could we quit this now? We’ve just really hit our stride!” and we
continued on.
At her first birthday, people asked us if we were “finally” ready to
wean. No, my heart wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready. The World Health
Organization wasn’t ready. So we continued. We nursed through my
surgery and recovery, her father helping her climb onto the couch to
carefully latch on. It was all the healing I needed while I waited for
final biopsy results. It calmed us both through that time.
My daughter turns two next week and we are in the slow process of
weaning. Breastfeeding has meant so much to me that I am sad to let
this relationship go. On the other hand, I am ready to close up this
chapter in our lives and thankful for the wonderful memories we’ve
had. Thankful for the gift of health for my daughter and myself. I am
thankful for the gift of peaceful nights nursing in our bed and “good
morning nursies” that we share now. We’ve had a good run at this
nursing thing.