Live Birth Fall Out

Lynsee, 23, is a teacher from Minneapolis.? She wanted to show her birth live on the internet as a teaching tool.? About 3,000 people viewed the birth as it happened.? We saw her walk around, eating in labor, in the shower, in the water birth tub and with an epidural.? People cheered her on via twitter.? There were discussions of what we would have done should we have been in the room, just like Monday morning quarterbacking in real time.? We even joked that a live feed the other direction would have been nice so we could help Lynsee.? We all wanted to scream, “You’re doing great!” at our computers.

There was a lot of postbirth discussion that the comments made as people tweeted about the birth were seen as criticizing.What do you think?? Jill at The Unnecesarean has some good discussion going on.

(And can I just say thanks for rounding out our week on birth stories?? The timing of your birth was great.)

Live Birth NOW

We’re watching at:

http://twincities.momslikeme.com/members/JournalActions.aspx?g=916351&m=8373439

We’re also twittering it at : #livebirth

I’m: RobinPregnancy

Join us!

Robin

Isn’t that what’s most important?

FutureMama is a newly expectant mom I’ve been watching on Twitter. ?She also blogs for Conceive Magazine. ?So she and I got into a discussion over how to best keep your options open for birth. ?She’s visited the hospitals and birth center in her area and now that she is pregnant, she’s chosen one. ?Her big fear is that she’s going to have so many preferences for her labor that she sets herself up for failure if she doesn’t achieve them:

I hope if I don’t put that pressure on myself to have a “perfect labor” I’ll just be happy to have my baby in my arms once and for all… Regardless of how it gets its big self out of my womb. Sure, I won’t go in begging for an epidural… (Or maybe I will). Either way, I just need to get from point A to point B. (A being enormously pregnant and B being a mom with a healthy new baby in my arms.)

Isn’t that what’s most important?

To prepare she’s been reading birth stories and watching birth TV. ?That’s when I got involved and explained I didn’t think that these were realistic shows. ?So she’s got a call out for good birth stories to show her the true spirit of labor and she’s also welcoming comments on her blog about her thoughts above. ?(You can read an expanded versions here.)

A few months ago another blogger said that she didn’t care what her birth looked like, that it didn’t matter unless she had a healthy baby. ?She had a rough postpartum but I’m not sure she every really put the two thoughts together, being busy with a newborn will do that to you. ?What struck me was that she was an event planner. ?Her words were something like “The birth doesn’t have to be pretty to be a good parent.”

Well, flip that around. ?If that statement is true, does the wedding have to be pretty to have a good marriage? ?I mean a bit of rain on your wedding day and we don’t feel like you’re doomed.

Don’t you make plans for your wedding? ?Seriously, you buy a dress, you match all the colors, you set out a menu. ?Can’t that be likened to a birth plan?

Well your big day arrives and you roll out of bed having not slept very well, not to mention that your stomach is rumbling from something you ate at the rehearsal dinner. ?Everyone is dragging there feet and running a bit late. ?This is causing you more than a tad bit of anxiety, after all, it’s your wedding day and you want it to be perfect!

At the wedding you realize that they’ve sent the wrong flowers for the pews and that the ushers have no boutonnieres. ?Big breath in, blow it away. You’re in control, it’s okay.

It’s almost show time! ?You go to change when you realize that your wedding dress is not quite right. ?You put it on and it fits perfectly, but it’s not your dress. ?You look great. It’s tailored like it was meant for you, but it’s not your dress. ?But the show must go on!

Down the aisle you go. ?Your music is perfect and you’re starting to relax. ?At the end of the long aisle, you see your man standing there looking handsome. ?You can’t help but smile. ?This is what you’ve been waiting for since the day he proposed. As you reach the final spot, you look up only to find out that your officiant is not the one you’ve been with for years at your place of worship, but some new guy filling in for him because your guy had to go to some other function at the last minute…

The analogies can go on and on. ?The difference is in our society, we’d be much more sympathetic to a bride that didn’t get her wedding plan the way she wanted it to play out than we are of a mother who didn’t get the birth she wanted. ?While no one can plan for labor or birth, you can have preferences. ?Preferences are a great way to be open about what you want with those you expect to participate, like your midwife or doctor, your partner, and those caring for you. It doesn’t mean you get what you want exactly, but it does enable you to work towards that and feel confident in the choices that you do make, even when they weren’t originally your first choice.

So if you wouldn’t tolerate a wedding planner who told you that it was her way or the highway, why would you accept that from anyone involved in your birth?

Favorite Birth Stories

I think many people really enjoy birth stories.? This is why shows like A Baby Story and others are so popular.? I mean, birth is such a miracle.? By the time you add some funky music to it and dramatic lighting… well, that kind of loses it for me.? Birth is special and dramatic enough on its own. If you have a few minutes, sit and listen to this amazing podcast of Beth telling her birth story.

There are also no shortage of birth stories at YouTube and other video sites.? While I enjoy watching them, there is something about these that feel a bit like I’m invading some personal space.

What are your favorite online birth stories and why?

• Share Your Birth Story

Why Birth Stories Matter to Moms

Everyone loves a birth story!? And I mean nearly any birth story.? Television defines good as something that is dramatic and plays out well in 30 minutes, which is often not real birth. The Internet has more time and space, so technically you could have good birth stories available here.? And there are some good birth stories.

But truthfully, birth stories are for mothers and families.? As a doula, I try to come home and immediately try to put into words the power of the families I’ve just seen while it’s fresh in my mind.? In fact on Twitter the other day I noticed that another doula expressed what I felt, that if she waited, the intensity faded.? But that intensity fades because we were merely observers.

I write it out, not because the mom necessarily needs a minute by minute play book of what happened, though many moms tell me that they didn’t recall which order things really happened, simply because they were busy in the moment.? I write it out to reflect back to them my experience of their power.

Having the privilege of being in attendance at a labor and birth is amazing.? To me, writing it out is a thank you note.? As a mom on the receiving end, I enjoy seeing the labor through someone else’s eyes, particularly my husband, my doula, my midwife…

Do you write them as a doula or other witness? Do you enjoy writing these stories?? Do you enjoy reading them, if you’ve had a baby?

Danielle’s Birth Stories

I have been meaning to sit down and really write out my birth experiences from my two boys, so I figured this week, since we are focusing on birth stories, what a great time!

I will start with the pregnancy of my first child, Camden. When I got pregnant, I was not all that educated about natural birth in general. I had worked as a doula, but through a crappy agency which I separated from rather quickly. So when I found out I was pregnant, I figured seeing a female Obstetrician would be like seeing a midwife. WRONG!!!!!!! But, I was pleased with my provider for the most part. I was considered a “high risk” patient because of surgery which I had on my cervix in my teen years, so of course like so many other women, I blindly followed what my Doctor told me, because of course, Doctors are never wrong…. right?
As my pregnancy went on I started seeing another female Obstetrician in this practice I proceeded to dub “The Wicked Witch” she was mean, old, cold, and simply rushes me without ever answering any of my questions or concerns. Then it seemed as though, every time I would schedule an appointment with MY OB/GYN I would always end up seeing this other Doctor. It was driving me crazy! Same went for if I had to call the “on call” for the evening, something felt wrong or something was off, and this same Doctor would always insist I went to L&D and be checked. By the time my son was finally born, I am sure they were all glad they wouldn’t be seeing me again!
Then in early November, our family was struck by a tragedy. My husband’s brother died suddenly at the age of 23, which sent our whole family into a tail spin, this was 4 weeks before my due date. From that time on, I proceeded to get sick daily, sometimes several times a day, I started losing weight despite eating like I regularly did before. At my last visit at 39 weeks and change, the Wicked Witch expressed concern that I was losing weight (15 pounds by this point) and that we should go ahead and schedule an induction before it has an impact on my son. Of course like any mother would, I freaked out and agreed. I didn’t want to have something happen to him, and in a way, I was happy because I was uncomfortable like EVERY pregnant woman was in the end.
I went in that Tuesday to get induced. It was December 11th 2007, and we showed up at 6:00am, and they escorted us up to my L&D room, and looking back on it, I wish I knew what I was getting myself into.

My L&D Nurse came in for my little questionnaire/intake and when I said I did not have a desire for an epidural, she and the Wicked Witch OB laughed at me, and told me I would change my mind shortly. From then it just proceeded to get worse!? By 9:30 I was hooked up to pitocin, which in my opinion is PURE EVIL!? Like they had said, after 2 hours of pitocin, 3cm dialated, I was begging for an epidural. I got the epidural but it didn’t seem to do much for me. The OB came back around at noon time, checked me and said I made no progress. I was still at 3cm, -1 station, 80% effaced. Which was a total blow to me because I was hurting and I thought I would have progresses SOME! She told me she was going to go have lunch, see a couple patients and she would be back around 2pm.? My husband and my mother went to get something to eat, I tried to rest a little bit, and eventually she came back. At 2pm, there was again no progress. And this is when she said, well, I am going to come back at 3, and if there is no progress then we are going to have to book an OR. I knew then my worst nightmare was coming true. This cascade of interventions was directing me straight to a cesarean section. From the start of my pregnancy, when I was told about placenta previa (which corrected itself) via ultrasound, I cried at the thought of a cesarean.
She came back at 3pm, and there was no progress, or at least that is what she told me, and they started preping me for surgery. The OR was cold, and bright, and without my husband, it would have been even more terrifying.? In the back of my head I was happy I was about to meet my son, but I was scared to death.
He was born at 4:37pm screaming, 7pounds and 7oz. Which then one of the OB/GYN’s commented, someone of my size (petite frame and short stature) would have never been able to birth that baby. Ya ok!? My mother, my size, gave birth to an over 10 pound baby, HER FIRST CHILD!

My recovery sucked, and during that time, I reached out to ICAN and learned there was no chapter in my area. So, I started one.
In September 2008, we learned we were expecting our second child, and even before I got pregnant, I knew I never wanted to go through another cesarean, nor would I willingly go through it.
My pregnancy was? uneventful, NOT HIGH RISK, attended by amazing Midwives, and so much different from my first.
On May 16th, I was doing a baby fair at our local hospital for our ICAN chapter, talking with mothers all day, giving out information, and around noon time, I started to feel… off. Something just wasn’t right.? Thankfully for me, my Chiropractor was at the booth right next to me at the baby fair so I made my way to him and got adjusted. Once I got adjusted it all clicked. I was going into labor at a baby fair. Were we in a movie?

Next thing you know, the women doing the booth with me said I looked white as a ghost, like I was ready to pass out, so they made me have some water, and eat candy. Lovely combo, but it helped! I wrapped up the fair and headed home. I called my doula and let her know what was going on, but I wasn’t certain I was in labor yet.
I laid down when I got home and tried to take a nap, but I couldn’t get any rest at all. My contractions kept getting closer and stronger. It seemed as though my labor was progressing fast, and I wasn’t sure what real natural labor was like because of my induction the first time around. I called my doula back up and she decided to head on over, and off to the bath tub I went to relax and try to work through the contractions.? Back labor, all the pain was in my back, and later on I found out my little guy was posterior.? By the time my doula got to my house, and things really started to rock n roll, it was around 8pm.? I watched the season finale of Brothers & Sisters which I had DVR’ed, listened to music, and spent a ton of time on the birth ball. Hours seemed like minutes, and next thing I knew it was midnight and I called my midwife. I told her I had been laboring for a while, and things were getting more intense, contractions were about 90 seconds apart, and we still had a 45 minute drive to the hospital I picked, which was one of the most VBAC friendly in the area. So around 12:30am we headed off to the hospital in a 3 car caravan. Myself? laying in my doula’s backseat trying to sleep in torrential rain on the highway. My best friend in her car, and my husband in our car.? We arrived at the hospital between 1 and 1:30am.
We got all checked in, and my midwife greeted us, and gave me a little check. I was 2-3cm which made all of our jaws drop. My labor was so intense we all swore I would be further along!? I decided to get on my hands and knees with the birth ball for a while, then take a shower, I thought about getting in the tub, but it was nearing 4-5am and we all wanted sleep. I couldn’t rest for the life of me.
At this point I asked for an epidural so I could sleep. I knew no matter how much I planned that I would not have one, things change when you are in the actual situation.
I got the epidural around 6am.
I was able to sleep until at 8, when my midwife came back and checked me again 3cm at most.? What was going on?? Why was I not dialating? What was wrong with my body?? Contractions started to slow, then get back to being a minute apart, then slow, then get quicker. Something was just not right, and on top of it all, I am sure the epidural was not helping either.
Around noon time my midwife popped back in and checked my cervix one last time.

Still 3cm and now my cervix was starting to swell, and we were having complications.
I was devastated, my VBAC was crashing and burning in front of my eyes.
My body was defective, I could not birth my baby, my own plan had blown up in my face.
My epidural to sleep, selfishly kicked me right in the ass!

My Midwife consulted the on call OB/GYN who came in to talk to me, along with the Resident who was on call. They were both amazingly warm, friendly, and comforting, and at that point I knew that a cesarean would be how my son was born. But I was not as bothered by it this time around, because after nearly 26 hours of labor, something was wrong, seriously wrong. My mothers intuition turned on and my son was in trouble.

At 1:59pm Benjamin Emil Elwood was born, bruised and looked like he had been through a war! When they opened me up, he was jammed behind my pelvic bone, which his forehead was pressed up against it all that time. He wasn’t coming down, his head wasn’t applying pressure to my cervix for it to dialate. At that moment I knew I made the right choice consenting to the cesarean.? I knew in the long term, it helped my son, and that was simply the way he needed to be born. During the days after my midwife would come see me every morning, sit, chat, and just helped me get through it all. I still today, cannot write about this without crying because the scars from his birth are still fresh. Nearing 6 months old, the pain of the failure is not any lighter. It seems like it was yesterday.

The story I tell is a story of a completely unnecessary cesarean section with my first child, and a life saving cesarean with my second.
The story I tell is a story of pain, and hurt, and betrayal by the one person I trusted the most, my Doctor.
The story I tell is a story of hope for other mothers to learn and become educated from my words.
The story I tell is the story of my sons, the loves of my life, and the ones who have made me the mom, advocate, and woman I am today.

All in all, I am now the North East Regional Coordinator for ICAN, a chapter leader, and the head of a maternity care campaign in my state of Connecticut. My experiences, my children, and my battle has made me become so active that I have been honored to support other women who have been where I have, and I have helped others to prevent unnecessary cesareans.

I love what I do.
I love the birth community.
I love ICAN.
I love being a Birth Activist!

Chiropractic Care during Pregnancy

One thing a lot of women do not know is the importance of having a balanced pelvis during labor. Which is why as a birth advocate I feel strongly about Chiropractic care during pregnancy. Not only does it help you live a healthier life, but it also helps you to get your baby into the optimal position for birth.

Many women question me when I bring this subject up, asking how someone who has a big belly is able to lay down and really get adjusted properly. During pregnancy, many Chiropractors will steer clear of adjusting the spine itself, and stick to the pelvis, neck, and round ligaments in something known as The Webster Technique.

The Webster Technique was founded by Dr. Larry Webster, also the founder of the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association, as a safe method to restore proper balance and function to the pelvis for pregnant mothers. The Webster Technique has also been proven to have a high success rate in preventing breech presentations.

Sacral misalignment causes the tightening and torsion of specific pelvic muscles and ligaments. ?It is these tense muscles and ligaments and their constraining effect on the uterus which prevents the baby from comfortably assuming the best possible position for birth. The Webster Technique is defined as a specific chiropractic analysis and adjustment that reduces interference to the nerve system and facilitates biomechanical balance in pelvic structures, muscles and ligaments. This has been shown to reduce the effects of intrauterine constraint, allowing the baby to get into the best possible position for birth.

The above is taken from the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association Website explaining further the Webster Technique and how it works.

Why do I wholeheartedly believe in Chiropractic care as well as The Webster Technique?? My own personal experiences, which all started in June of 2008 when a woman came to my monthly ICAN meeting with a breech baby, frantic because she was planning a home birth in the month of August, and if her baby did not turn into a head down position, optimal for birth, she would have no option but to be admitted into the hospital and have a cesarean delivery, which for her was a nightmare situation. In our area, there are no known providers who will deliver a breech baby of any type.
Thankfully for this mother, our guest speaker for the month was a local Chiropractor, Dr. Jason Jenkin’s who has since become an amazing mentor and friend in my life. He spoke about The Webster Technique, and this woman started seeing him immediately in hopes of this method helping to turn her baby into the optimal position for her to have a successful home birth.
I nervously and skeptically kept track on her care through e-mails, phone calls, and facebook chats. And then her baby turned. Nice, head down, and ready for his peaceful birth at home!

Shortly after this, mom went into labor on a beautiful summer day, and little boy was born into his own mothers arms, in the water, in a beautiful home birth. When she e-mailed me about her birth, I sat and cried while I read, and became a firm believer in something I have known to be “Chiropractic Miracles”.

Since that time, this specific Chiropractic office has had several success stories with pregnancy related care, including my own Chiropractic care during my second pregnancy. Including adjustments the day I went into labor, as well as the next day after my son was born.

As one of my steps in helping to have a great birth, and avoid a cesarean section in a society where 1/3 of births are by surgery, I highly suggest Chiropractic care!

Birth Videos on YouTube: Sick or Slick?

I was reading a debate between some people, women and men, about individuals who post their birth videos online. The basics of the debate were that women posted birth videos online at sites like YouTube, unlike written birth stories, these were graphic and contained (*gasp*) nudity. Some people felt that this was horrible and awful and should be stopped. They felt that some of these women were attention seeking, others felt it was just tacky. The other side of the debate believed that the births were helpful from a real world perspective, that it wasn’t heavily edited (usually) like real birth on television shows or infused with intense music and dramatic interviews with care providers.

Which side of the fence do you fall on? Do you think births on YouTube are slick or sick?

(And just to fuel the fire, here’s a birth video for you…)

My Son Tells His Birth Story

My 2 year old son recently started talking to me about his birth. His birth was very traumatic for me and it is what started me on this road to birth activism. Certain things that happened during his birth were forced on me, and other things I consented to under duress. When the midwife decided to break my water when I was dilated to 9.5 centimeters, I had little choice in the matter. I technically consented, but it was very clear that this was not what I wanted. I had always secretly imagined that my baby would be born in the caul (the amniotic sac), and apparently that was his intention as well. The link below is his birth story, told by him, interpreted by me. It is important to note that I didn’t discuss these events with him before this, nor did I truly believe that children could remember their births until this happened. I tried not to lead him, but simply interpret what he was trying to tell me, as I always do in any situation.

Here is his story: Owen Remembers His Birth

Owen has a craniosacral therapist that we were working with before this happened, and now we are working with her specifically on his birth issues. He is still going through a tough stage as far as separation anxiety goes, but it has gotten better. He has mentioned his birth a few times since this happened. A couple times he mentioned coming out of a big hole, but then quickly dropped the subject after that. I’ve been able to talk to him more about his separation from me right after the birth, and he seems to be dealing with that a little better. His verbal skills have dramatically increased in the last couple months, and I am considering bringing the subject up again to see if he can explain things better now that he has more words.

This story with my son really showed me that newborns are sentient beings that have an emotional reaction to interventions that are done during the birth process and the procedures done afterwards. The fact that my son has such a sadness about the 20 minute separation that we endured directly after his birth really shows me that he was very aware of what was happening. I wish that care providers and nurses knew this about newborns. If they did, perhaps they would not be so eager to snatch them away from their mothers in those first hours and days after they are born.

ETA: Also in November of 2007 I took these photos of Owen seemingly working through his birth by using sheer material: Photos of Owen

In May of 2008 I posted some of Owen’s recollections of his birth once he became verbal: Owen Remembers His Birth Some More

The Value of the Birth Story

When I was little I was fascinated by birth. I would beg my mother to tell me my birth story every year just before my birthday. I wanted to hear how grandma wouldn’t let her sit on the new couch because she was afraid my mother’s water would break. I loved to chuckle at my mother eating a Whopper and then being really sorry about it later. And of course, the requisite story of how my father complained to the nurse that his head hurt while my mother labored and the nurse brought him some medicine.

It was just all so much fun! So we’re started that tradition with our kids. This month I’ve had two birthdays, just days apart (They shared the same due date and were born 5 days apart.). So if you’re interested in sharing the stories, you’ve got Isaac Birth (as told by dad) and my version of Lilah’s birthday.