Celebrating Those Who Work Hard for Moms and Babies

This week I want to share with you a different type of activism!  There is a group called The House of Shine.  One of their big projects is to say thanks to someone who “shines.”  This is called the Yellow Envelope Project.  Basically they give you a nominee each week and people flood them with short notes in yellow envelopes.  This week they are celebrating a lactation consultant.  Won’t you join in for this week’s Yellow Envelope Project. Drop us a note to say, “I’m in!”  While you’re there, consider nominating someone who does an amazing job at embodying the concept of shine…

Breastfeeding: Gratitude

I always knew I would breastfeed. I was lucky enough to be breastfed myself, lucky enough to grow up in an era (the 70′s) when natural birth and parenting were popular, lucky enough to be born in a region of the U.S. (northern California) where breastfeeding was the norm. As a result, I was breastfed for 18 months by a mother who was never breastfed herself. Long enough that I have what I think is a single, fleeting, flash of a memory of actually doing it: it was evening, my mom lifted me into her lap, into the rocking chair in our living room, and then: comfort. That’s all I have. But this little scrap of a memory was enough to sustain the idea that I would always breastfeed my own children, even when natural parenting seemed to dip in popularity, when many of my childhood friends proclaimed it was gross, or later that they didn’t want to ‘ruin’ their boobs by nursing babies.

When my daughter was born, I assumed that this normal, natural function of my body & partnership with my new baby would happen easily, seamlessly. I had the right attitude, I had the right equipment & now I had the baby. Boy, was I wrong. Gretta was born ‘tongue-tied’ – the little piece of skin that attaches our tongues to the bottom of our mouths was too short – and she had terrible difficulty latching on. It went undiagnosed in the hospital and for five long, miserable days after she was born we struggled with nursing. Struggled to the point that if she was held cross-body (for any reason), she’d start crying (and so would I).

I think many moms would have given up at this point, opened up a can of formula and never looked back. Again, I was lucky – I had the support you’d expect of my mother, my midwives, my husband, and also health insurance that covered the rental of a hospital-grade pump. But also, and maybe most importantly, some unexpected support: our pediatrician.

At our first doctor visit a couple of days after she was born, Gretta had lost several ounces – he was surprisingly unconcerned. I told him we were really having trouble nursing, that she would take a little pumped breast milk, but not latch on despite the efforts of two midwives and the advice of many La Leche moms. Without blinking an eye, opened up his closet, took out a formula feeding kit (my heart dropped), REMOVED THE FORMULA (my eyebrows went up), leaving bottles and a carrying case for pumped milk, and then gave me the number of the mother of one of his clients who happened to be a lactation consultant. It was so simple – he acted like what we were going through was normal, to be expected & FIXABLE. That simple act – removing the formula from that free-sample case – demonstrated so clearly to me that despite Gretta’s weight loss & continued difficulty latching on, he was confident that breastfeeding was the best choice & that we’d get it worked out. It was in a word: awesome.

The lactation consultant we saw was nothing short of magic – she had us breastfeeding in 20 minutes, no looking back. At the time she was my savior, manna from heaven, my breastfeeding goddess. In retrospect though, I think the real hero of this story is that pediatrician. He was in a position to make or break my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter & he chose to support us. Had he been an alarmist, had he been overly concerned with Gretta’s weight loss, had he sent us home with formula, if he hadn’t trusted the lactation consultant – I’m not sure, even given my resolve, my upbringing, and my education if I would have been able to go on to develop the care-free, amazing nursing relationship Gretta and I shared.

I’d like to celebrate this year’s World Breastfeeding Week by giving kudos to those people in our lives whose help we needed to do one of the most normal & rewarding things on the planet: feed our babies. Please take a moment to add a comment with the names and contact info (and stories if you want!) of breastfeeding-friendly professionals who helped you along the way.

Pediatrician:
Izak Reischer MD
Phone: (718) 268-6200
72-38 113th Street
Forest Hills, NY, 11375

Lactation Consultant:
Catherine Watson Genna, BS, IBCLC
Email: cwgenna@covad.net
Phone: 718 846-2323
Location: Woodhaven, Queens, NY
More info: http://lactspeak.com/speakers/CatherineWatson%20Genna/

Beyond the First Six Months: “Extended” Breastfeeding

Much ado is made about breastfeeding initiation rates, supporting new breastfeeding moms, and exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of an infant’s life.  But what about those of us who want to breastfeed beyond 6 months, beyond a year?  Aside from the AAP’s statement that mothers should have “support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child” there exists what seems to be a gray area.  Breastfeeding limbo.  I can remember as a first-time mom hearing over and over about exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, and wondering, then what?  Do they eat all solids?  Drink cow’s milk?  Oh, you mean if I stop breastfeeding I have to give him formula until he’s 1?  After overcoming all the breastfeeding troubles I had with my first baby, I thought, heck no, I didn’t come this far just to give him formula, and so I kept on nursing him.

Yes, there are mothers out there who are breastfeeding well into the toddler years… Where is our information and support?  The reactions I’ve gotten for “still” nursing my 10/12/15/18 month old speak volumes.  I can’t imagine what kind of reaction I would get if I were nursing a 2, 3, or 4 year old.  Outside an LLL meeting, it seems these topics are rarely discussed.  Breastfeeding moms already often feel isolated, by self- or culturally-imposed taboos on breastfeeding in front of others.  It’s even more isolating to feel like those around you are also judging your choice to breastfeed and for how long.

“Extended” breastfeeding needs to become more mainstream… It needs just as big a push as breastfeeding initiation and early support have gotten.  More breastfeeding women need to speak up.  We’re out there and you may not even know it!  And it’s not just about changing attitudes, it’s also about changing policies: Advocating for longer, paid maternity leave; making workplaces hospitable to pumping; working towards childcare that is on-site or in close proximity to workplaces so that mothers can take “breastfeeding breaks.”  The campaign to promote breastfeeding shouldn’t stop at 6 months!

Chapters

I write this post not as a lactation professional, or a lactivist, or
even a breastfeeding supporter. I write it as a mom. A mom who has
spent the last two years of her life watching her child grow healthy
and strong with the help of my milk. Breastfeeding has been an amazing
accomplishment for us and has served us both well.

Breastfeeding did not start off easy for us. My daughter’s attempts to
nurse made me bleed and cry. Luckily, I knew that breastfeeding wasn’t
supposed to feel like this. Through a long combination of pumping, cup
feeding and reteaching her how to nurse, we became successful at
breastfeeding without pain. I am eternally grateful to the lactation
consultant who helped us and to my dear friend who went with us to
each appointment, holding my hand and reminding me that I was making
the best choice for my daughter.

Later we went through many stages in our nursing. We exclusively
breastfed through a dairy and soy allergy (whew, the money we could
have spent on prescription formula!) until my little one was six
months old. As we introduced complementary foods I thought to myself
“how could we quit this now? We’ve just really hit our stride!” and we
continued on.

At her first birthday, people asked us if we were “finally” ready to
wean. No, my heart wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready. The World Health
Organization wasn’t ready. So we continued. We nursed through my
surgery and recovery, her father helping her climb onto the couch to
carefully latch on. It was all the healing I needed while I waited for
final biopsy results. It calmed us both through that time.

My daughter turns two next week and we are in the slow process of
weaning. Breastfeeding has meant so much to me that I am sad to let
this relationship go. On the other hand, I am ready to close up this
chapter in our lives and thankful for the wonderful memories we’ve
had. Thankful for the gift of health for my daughter and myself. I am
thankful for the gift of peaceful nights nursing in our bed and “good
morning nursies” that we share now. We’ve had a good run at this
nursing thing.

Win an autographed copy of The Better Way to Breastfeed!

In celebration of World Breastfeeding Week, we’d like to help you win a copy of The Better Way to Breastfeed.  We’re giving away multiple copies! You can get a chance to win your copy by doing any (or all) of the following:

• Tweet a link including the #BetterWayBFBook hash tag
• Blog about the give and include a link to this post
• Post link on Facebook

Leave a comment for each of the above.  You can enter once per day for each link (twitter, blog, facebook) until the deadline of midnight ET on August 7, 2010. Winner announced next week!

Read more about The Better Way to Breastfeed or join the The Better Way to Breastfeed Facebook group.

Congrats to Ashley R and Nicki on winning copies!

Intuitive Eating in Motherhood

After speaking with my midwife the other day, we came to the conclusion that I may need to eat more foods rich in iron. I did not take a formal test or anything but just have been feeling tired again lately. In a pregnant woman’s second and third trimester, it is really important to increase her protein intake because this is when the baby is growing the fastest. This will also help keep the mother’s energy levels up.

I am proud to say that this had been on my radar before my midwife suggested it. And that in general, pregnancy has made me a better eater. I was never a bad eater, always leaning towards the healthy side of things. There was an 8-year stint where I was a vegetarian after declaring one day in junior high school that I didn’t like meat. And I was a strict, young vegetarian, never consuming ANY products with meat (including fish) in them. During that, there were short times when I tried to be vegan because I love animals so much but I love cheese, chocolate, and ice cream more. Then there was a long stretch of college where I thought I was superwoman and worked full time and attended school more than full time (18-21 credits per semester). This ended the vegetarianism. I was too burnt out, and too poor to afford expensive veggie protein to feed myself properly, and too busy to be creative with meal choices to increase my protein so I turned to the dark side and ate some chicken. Fast-forward about 7 years and now I enjoy all foods equally and still have a soft spot in my heart and belly for veggie delights!

My point is; through my life of relatively healthy eating, I have never felt as healthy as I do since becoming a mom (which I count as finding out I was pregnant with my first baby). From that point on, my eating changed from what I want to eat, to what my baby needs to eat and what foods my baby needs to nurse and grow big and strong. I have developed a way of eating that I call “intuitive eating”. I did not read a book about this though I know that they exist. I literally, just plan out my meals, shop for foods, and stand in front of my refrigerator and think “what does my body need right now?”, “what does the baby need right now?” “Have I had my protein for the day?” “My grains?” “My fruits and veggies?” etc…I eat really clean, part for my love of the farmer’s market and part because it’s easiest for me. I buy a bunch of fruits and veggies for the week, protein for each day in the week, and dairy (and dairy alternatives). I always have healthy fats (peanut butter, avocado, olive oil, butter, etc ) and grains in stock. Each day I put together whatever combination of what I have based on my hunger and nutritional needs for the day.

When I was pregnant with daughter #1, I gained 35 lbs. I did not try/ try not to gain this amount of weight, I just listened to what my body needed and in return it gave me an easy natural labor and birth process and a healthy baby girl. My midwife said that “every woman’s body is perfect for her baby” when women get snarky comments from observers for “looking too big, too small, etc. I love this. Anyway, after she was born I lost 20 lbs of it almost instantly (baby’s weight, uterus, fluids, placenta) and then breastfed her. In addition to the 35 lbs I gained, I lost an extra 15. I did not “work out”. I just listened to what my body needed, ate healthily, consciously, and the weight came off. There were times where I would pass on dessert and that’s pretty much it.

When you have a baby that you nourish through nursing, you are responsible for how they are growing. Even if I wanted to, was tempted to, for my daughter’s well being I could not develop an unhealthy way of eating. It truly saddens me that women are blasted with media that talks about “getting your body back after baby” and that celebrities flaunt their bikini-ready bodies weeks after birth. In my experience, there was no way I was going to work out on a consistent basis with a newborn. AND there was no way I was willing to try ANY kind of diet. What I look like in a skimpy outfit is not important, what is important is the health of my child and myself. What worked for me is truly listening to my body’s needs, my baby’s needs, and making conscious choices.

How Nursing in Public Has Changed

Welcome to the July 2010 Carnival of Nursing in Public

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Nursing in Public hosted by Dionna and Paige at NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public (“NIP”). See the bottom of this post for more information.

***

My first baby is about to go off to college.  It’s true what they say about the eighteen years flying by at a rapid pace, even though a few months, weeks and loooong nights seemed to be an eternity.  When she was first born, I was to be the first successful breastfeeding mom in my family since my great-grandma.  I actually just put it together in those terms as I’m writing this post, though I knew no one else had really done it.

I had some sore nipples.  I had some bleeding and cracking.  I had no one to turn to for help.  But I also had some perseverance and determination.  This is one of those times that a hard head helped, despite a lack of good (breastfeeding) education on my part.

My first experience with nursing in public came when my daughter was about two weeks old.  I was still wearing maternity clothes and it was December.  I was in a Mall.  Recipe for disaster?  No, I actually pulled it off, which now amazes me.  I simply went to a less traveled area of the Mall and sat on a bench, pulled my baby to me and nursed her.  For about a half a second I felt self conscious until I realized I was doing it!  I even remember feeling like a couple of teen boys who glanced my way were thinking about it, most likely not.

Today, women are given to worry and over thinking nursing in public.  I probably would have been one of them.  My cousin good naturally asked me after seeing me with my four week old first born, “Do you cover her eyes?”  I had no idea what he was talking about.  “You know, do you cover her eye when you nurse her so she won’t see your breasts?”  This was more about my modesty and a joke than anything else.  I still get a chuckle over having been that girl/woman.  (No, I didn’t.)  Breastfeeding taught me to love and respect my body.

Today, breastfeeding a child in public is something that I don’t think twice about.  I breastfeed every where I am.  I’ve helped to pass breastfeeding legislation in my state.  And I can’t believe anyone really cares about nursing in public.

I see way more moms nursing in public now than I did eighteen years ago.  And my most important contribution to normalizing breastfeeding?  Nursing in front of my family and showing them that breastfeeding is appropriate anywhere I am when my baby is hungry or needs me.

Welcome to the Carnival of Nursing in Public

Please join us all week, July 5-9, as we celebrate and support breastfeeding mothers. And visit NursingFreedom.org any time to connect with other breastfeeding supporters, learn more about your legal right to nurse in public, and read (and contribute!) articles about breastfeeding and N.I.P.

Do you support breastfeeding in public? Grab this badge for your blog or website to show your support and encourage others to educate themselves about the benefits of breastfeeding and the rights of breastfeeding mothers and children.

This post is just one of many being featured as part of the Carnival of Nursing in Public. Please visit our other writers each day of the Carnival. Click on the links below to see each day’s posts – new articles will be posted on the following days:
July 5 – Making Breastfeeding the Norm: Creating a Culture of Breastfeeding in a Hyper-Sexualized World
July 6 – Supporting Breastfeeding Mothers: the New, the Experienced, and the Mothers of More Than One Nursing Child
July 7 – Creating a Supportive Network: Your Stories and Celebrations of N.I.P.
July 8 – Breastfeeding: International and Religious Perspectives
July 9 – Your Legal Right to Nurse in Public, and How to Respond to Anyone Who Questions It

Pumping in the Bathroom is like Putting a Blanket Over Your Head

My first attempt at breastfeeding I consider unsuccessful. I nursed my daughter for the first 4 months of her life and then returned to work. I bought a pump and was determined to use it but found lack of support for the ability to continue to feed my daughter breastmilk.

When I approached the subject of a place to pump in my workplace, my (female, childless) boss was kind and supportive and offered to let me use her office space. As the weeks went on and I visited her office at the same time every day (there was only ONE short break in my schedule that allowed time) it became more and more inconvenient for her. Some days she had a meeting, other days she had too much work to get done and could not spare her office for that time, and some days she was just gone at the scheduled time and the door was locked.

The only other option was the public bathroom. The pump was LOUD. It sounded weird coming from one of the stalls, and I was the only woman on that campus that recently had given birth. Somehow, pumping in the bathroom made me feel ashamed. I was so stressed-out by the situation that I was not able to relax, not be able to release as much milk, and I wanted the bathroom horror to be over as quick as possible so I would sometimes give up pumping after only going at it for a few minutes. You can imagine what happened.

The office availability became less and less, which led me to the bathroom more and more. The stress of being forced to pump in there, combined with my lack of authority, led to days where I had less and less milk to bring home to my baby. I then resorted to pumping while driving home at night in my car for my hour-long commute. This did not work either but was a last-ditch effort that my hormones told me was a good idea.

I was an emotional wreck to say the least. You can ask my husband; I was not a fun person to live with. I would come home every day and just cry almost uncontrollably for hours over the guilty feelings I was having. Not only was I leaving my first born to the care of someone else to go back to work, but also now I was faced with a situation I was unprepared for. I am a breastfeeding advocate, just like I am a natural birthing advocate and here I was, giving up nourishing my daughter with the best food I knew was available, her momma’s milk.

I did not choose to stop breastfeeding my daughter. I was forced to by a society that does not place value in breastfeeding. I believe it is the same issue as nursing in public. Why is feeding a baby breastmilk so unsupported by our society? Why are new mothers made to feel bad about this? What I am hearing is “cover your head with a blanket”, “pump in the bathroom”. Why are we doing this to our mothers? It’s an outrage that our society is treating ANYONE this way. Why are we made to feel shameful for something that is natural and that we know is right in our hearts, bodies, and minds?

If anything, this negative experience has made me a stronger breastfeeding advocate. This is a human rights issue. The next time around I choose not to be quiet. I choose not to be ashamed. I choose not to feel guilty, though I will always suffer from the guilt of quitting the first time around. I am nursing my next daughter come hell of high water. And watch me do it whenever and wherever she needs it.

Much Boobie Love,

Amy

Nursing in Public Blog Carnival

We’re going to be participating in the Nursing in Public Blog Carnival – so exciting! But I wanted to let you know about it too so that you, my dear Birth Activists, might join…

Is Breastfeeding “Creepy”?

An opinion piece in Mother & Baby Magazine written by deputy editor Kathryn Blundell has the blogosphere with its collective knickers in a twist.  Blundell writes that she never wanted to breastfeed and gladly offered her children formula from the start.

Her reasoning?  ”I wanted my body back. (And some wine)… I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach… They’re part of my sexuality, too – not just breasts, but fun bags.  And… seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy… [T]he convenience and supposed health benefits of breast milk couldn’t induce me to stick my nipple in a bawling baby’s mouth… I often wonder whether many of these [other] women, like me, just couldn’t be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while.”  She goes on, but that’s the gist of her message: She simply didn’t find breastfeeding worthwhile.  Her statements chafe for a number of reasons.  And it’s not because she chose to formula feed.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion, even if others think it’s completely wrongheaded (see Flat Earth Society).  But in just a few short quotations, she manages to offer grievous misinformation and a snide attitude towards both breastfeeding and formula feeding mothers.

1) “(And some wine)” The truth is that alcohol consumption and breastfeeding are not entirely incompatible.  La Leche League recommends no more than 1 drink per day, and also cites material from two of the foremost experts on breastfeeding, Dr. Jack Newman and Dr. Thomas Hale, who both agree that sensible alcohol consumption is compatible with breastfeeding.  A small amount of alcohol does pass into the milk; however, the doctors note that reasonable maternal consumption will not have a negative effect on the infant. So breastfeeding moms can feel free to enjoy a glass of wine or a beer and not have to maintain their pregnancy teetotaling status.

2) “give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach” Patently false assumption here.  In fact, breastfeeding does not affect whether a woman’s breasts will sag.  As recent research demonstrates, breast sagging is correlated with the number of pregnancies as well as smoking status.

3) “They’re part of my sexuality… baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy” So body parts can never have “dual use”?  Does it also feel creepy to have a (male) lover at all, since penises are also used for urinating as well as intercourse?

4) “supposed health benefits of breast milk”  ”Supposed” health benefits?  Really?  I think Ph.D. in Parenting puts that one to bed pretty well.

5) “women, like me, just couldn’t be fagged [bothered] or felt like getting tipsy” The author couldn’t be bothered to breastfeed, and would rather get drunk than breastfeed, and thus speculates that the majority of other formula feeding mothers are also of her same mindset.  Is this a tactic to make herself feel better?  It sounds pretty insulting to formula feeding moms, who may or may not have attempted breastfeeding, and ultimately chose formula for a variety of reasons that don’t include laziness or inebriation.

Honestly, everything about her position, including the article’s title (“I formula fed. So what?”) sounds defensive.  If she truly owned her choice, she wouldn’t be backing it up with illogical and/or false ideas.  All she had to say was, “After considering both breastfeeding and formula feeding, I chose formula because that is what worked best for me and my family.”  But then there’s no article to write, is there?