An MSNBC article describes this trend as a growing “natural birth subculture” led by white women. Just calling it a subculture lends a derogatory connotation, as if all home birthing families are… what? Hippies? Cultists? Anarchists? A “lunatic fringe”? Maybe some home birthers are any or all of the above, but many of them are no different from anyone else, except that they reject the hospital/medical model of childbirth.

The fact that white women have the highest rate of home births is a reflection of the way health care works in this country. With private insurance offering only spotty coverage for midwifery care and home birth, it is often affluent white women who can afford to seek midwife care outside the scope of their insurance. Minority women are unfortunately more likely to be under- or uninsured, or covered by Medicaid.  Their options for home birth are severely limited as a result, and they are often unable to afford to pay cash to a midwife for a home delivery.

Rather than scoff at home birth as some sort of fad among affluent white women, perhaps we should take the data provided by the research to make midwifery care available to women of all races and socioeconomic strata. I have heard it suggested many times that in the poorest regions of the country, midwives could make all the difference in terms of access to prenatal care, reducing preterm births, and improving maternal and infant mortality. Yet Big Obstetrics seems desperate to hold on to every single patient it can, even as OBs complain that they are overworked, underpaid, and burdened with high patient loads and mounds of insurance paperwork.

The tide is just beginning to turn. Home birth advocates recognize that home birth isn’t for everyone, but what we do realize is that midwife care has the potential to change the lives and the outcomes for women and babies across the country and around the globe. That’s not a trend, that’s common sense and compassion.

As a part of this class, we were assigned a hospital in the area to interview and find out their birth statistics. I had never thought of questioning the procedures being done because hospitals are a place that sick individuals go to, get treated, and feel better by the time they leave. These interventions are done to save individuals lives and are for the most part necessary. As I began researching the hospital, I found myself asking “Why are pregnant women, who are not sick, being treated the same way as people who have illnesses?” Doctors do not need to “save” women from their births, they should instead be supporting women and letting nature run its course.  This being said, I do understand that some women, and that percentage is a small one, need help in delivering a baby due to some complications. Many women however, have a body fit enough to deliver a healthy baby on their own and that right is being robbed away from them.

To further my research for this project, I decided to go on the hospital tour as a pregnant woman.  One of the first questions I had for the guide, who was also a nurse, was their c-section rate. With this, two women on the tour stated that they already had their c-sections planned and were so happy because they knew the definite day and time they would have their baby.  As I sat there stunned and feeling bad for these women, the rest of the group congratulated them and one woman was thinking of doing the same.  At this point I decided to ask about natural births and the tour guide stated that she sees plenty of vaginal births.  When I explained that I meant natural to be 100 percent intervention free, she looked at me like I was crazy. She said that when women first arrive they are hooked up to IV’s and fetal monitoring with an epidural not too far away.  My face must have said it all because she said that I didn’t understand how painful it was going to be and that many women need some kind of assistance. 

After my tour, I was very upset and amazed at how much these women and the tour guide didn’t know. And I do not think that the women are to blame.  Doctors should be spending some time helping to educate about birth and all its wonders. Instead, they are ordering everything from fetal monitors and pitocin to epidurals and c-sections when all of these are usually unnecessary.  As I said before, a hospital is a place for the sick to become healthy and not the healthy to be treated as if they are sick and need saving. 

This hospital experience has opened my eyes and made me realize that these hospital ways need to change. The only way that can happen is if women come together and fight against these unnecessary procedures that are being done to them before a completely natural birth is only a thing of the past.

While conversing with a nurse during my shift on a maternity floor, I proposed the question of what” normal birth”  is to her. The nurse replied, “ It is a woman who comes into the hospital with no complications and gives birth vaginally to a healthy baby.” The point she was trying to make is that when a birth occurs within a hospital it is considered a normal birth. I pushed further and asked would a normal birth include interventions. She replied, “Yes, if a little aid is needed for comfort, she will be provided with the necessary intervention.” The nurse’s definition changed from a delivery within a hospital vaginally to using any medical means necessary for a vaginal birth with no complications for the mother and child.

I decided to look for another opinion of a normal birth from a fellow nursing student who has not been exposed to the lectures of the bio psych of birth class. The student stated a normal birth consisted of “…giving birth in a hospital with medication to control the pain, and if it takes too long a c-section.” I am somewhat ashamed to admit that this was almost my own verbatim definition prior to my exposure to the Bio Psych of Birth class.

The nurse and my fellow classmate described what is known as the norm within the United States. Contrary to popular belief, the norm is different from “normal birth.” A norm is what the trend, or what the majority of the population does. In 2009, 32.7% cesarean sections, 55.5% epidurals, 20.1% medical inductions, and 24.6% augmented labors occurred statewide in New York. These percentages are viewed as ‘the norm’ within the United States. The true definition of a normal birth is the woman’s ability to trust her own body to perform the birth process with no unnessary interventions.  A normal birth consists of a woman in the company of a support system relishing in the experience and excitement of childbirth on their own.

Today I would like to pose a question to you: why is it that normal, non-interventive birth, which has been achieved for centuries by women everywhere, is now considered abnormal within today’s society?

While taking everything that is going on into consideration, you also have to keep your eye on the time, because as time passes, all of the bricks begin to creep slowly down the screen toward your pod.  Once those bricks touch your pod, the game is over.  You either have to know what you are doing or you are most certainly going to lose.  And sadly, even when you think you know what you are doing the game might toss you a curve ball and you could still lose.  This game reminds me an awful lot of laboring women in hospitals.

 A woman laboring in a hospital is very similar to the pod you are trying to protect in Brick Breaker.  Getting through her contractions is like breaking those bricks.  Finally, giving birth to her baby is the equivalent to eliminating all of the bricks! However, before that can happen, the hospital, much like Brick Breaker, is going to make that a difficult venture.  They will offer her Pitocin, to speed up her labor.

Then they will offer her an epidural to ease the pain that accompanies Pitocin; but an epidural slows down labor.  She better keep her eye on the time, because the longer she takes, the closer a cesarean section comes to her precious pod, ultimately keeping her from winning the game.  What I would call winning, in this situation, is the woman being able to deliver vaginally and without medication or intervention – inherently, how she intended. 

If women have a choice, why would they choose to play this sort of ‘game’? If a woman wants to have a natural, un-intervened, vaginal birth she should be able to do it.  It is her game; she should be able to make her own rules. After all, birth should not be about avoiding impending doom, it should be about happily bringing a child into the world.

Our society does not allow birth to be a peaceful, natural and beautiful experience.  It is something to get over with and don’t talk about.  The pregnancy is praised and the newborn is praised, but why doesn’t anyone talk about the life changing experience?  It does not need to be this way.  I feel that if all women (and men) were educated about how birth could be, and given the facts before they were in this fragile state they would be able to make much more educated and safe decisions for themselves as well as their baby. 

My high school teacher had good intentions showing her students a beautiful natural birth, but I believe that there is one necessary intervention that needs to happen to correct this society’s way of thinking, and that is to insert birth into the health and sex education classes for high school students.  With the rising rates of teen pregnancies, we cannot ignore the fact that these are the ages that should become more educated.  Preventing pregnancy and protecting from STD’s are not the only important topics to talk about.  Talking about birth and how to have a more comfortable experience without the use of epidurals and cesareans, should be discussed even just for a few classes a semester. Birth education in high school would allow young minds to think of their options when they get to that point in their life.

Yesterday my midwife must have seen into my soul and understood what my mind and body were going through. She offered to stir things up a bit to my relief. I took two homeopathic remedies rotationally (Caulophyllum and Cimicfuga) every hour since our noon visit until 10 at night and she stretched my cervix a bit and performed what is called a “membrane sweep”.http://www.birthingnaturally.net/birthplan/intervention/induction/membranes.html

After this meeting, I experienced some spotting for the rest of the day and some light cramping. I continued to take the homeopathic remedies throughout the day into the evening. At about 6:30 pm, I experienced some pretty strong contractions. These came sporadically at about every hour and a half to every 10-15 minutes apart. At about 8 we put my daughter to bed (she’s 14 months). Strangely enough, when we thought she was fast asleep at about 9:00 she woke up and started crying for her momma. When I went upstairs to cuddle her, she seemed to be aware of what was going on. She usually curls up next to me but that night, she laid her head on my belly and fell asleep cooing “mama”, like she knew it would be our last bedtime together before her sister arrived. It brought me to tears. I think that even though she is so young she had some sort of sixth sense about it all.

After my daughter was securely in bed, my husband and I sat down to watch a movie and I chose to sit on the exercise ball to manage the contractions. My intention was to keep going what had started so I moved around quite frequently throughout the movie. At about 10:30 we went up to bed to try to get some rest and to my dismay, my contractions had quieted down to about 45 minute intervals.

I was in and out of bed, anxious and still experiencing contractions when they grew more intense and started lasting over a minute in which I had to hold my breath through the waves. They were now about ten minutes apart and somehow I knew that I should wake my husband up to start the labor preparations such as blowing up the tub and getting the bed labor-proofed.

I followed him downstairs and while he was blowing up the tub, and getting the bed ready I first attended to him by giving him vitamins and making him tea (he was feeling ill that day and he NEVER gets sick). When my contractions got stronger I was walking around and counting the minutes on the clock. They were still 10 minutes apart but very strong (I was instructed to call the midwife at 5 minutes apart).

During this time, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, because the toilet with the hole for a seat was the most comfortable since it didn’t put any pressure “down there”. I started bleeding and to me it looked like a great amount. My contractions got to 5 minutes apart and I calmly called my midwife. She said that I seemed so calm on the phone that she’d make herself some tea to wake up and then head over there. I also texted my friend who had agreed to come get my daughter and told her about what was going on.

In a span of about 10 minutes, I yelled at my husband to hurry up and start filling the tub, and to call my midwife back and tell her to come NOW because 1) I was bleeding A LOT and 2) My contractions suddenly were on top of one another with about a half a minute break. He also called my friend and told her to come NOW. I think I said “Call Suzanne, get Ellen OUT of the house! (Because I was screaming at this point through every contraction they were so intense).

Instinctually I thought to myself “I have to get up now and move to the tub because if I don’t I’ll be stuck on this toilet” and I was right. Somehow I managed to lift myself out of the bathroom and into the tub, which was set up in the dining room, which was only a quarter of the way full. Doing awesome tub management, my husband was concerned about the temperature and kept checking it but I really didn’t care if it was too hot, it felt better than being dry and dealing with those waves.

As soon as I got in, I started moaning loudly with the contractions. They were still right on top of one another. After about only 5 minutes I felt something “pop” which was my bag of waters breaking. Right after the pop, I yelled to my husband that she was going to come NOW and that I “don’t want to push”. I was scared. We were alone. What if the baby came out not breathing or what if I was bleeding too much like I thought?

I yelled for him to find the bulb syringe because I knew that if she wasn’t breathing, we might have to suck water/ mucous out of her mouth to help her. He got on that task right away and before he was done washing the syringe, I felt a huge urge to push, screamed that I didn’t want to push but my body had other intentions.

She was out in two pushes, back to back with no break in between. I felt for her head in the water and cupped it while her body slid out. I took her out of the water immediately and onto my chest. I looked at her face and my husband emerged from the bathroom with the clean bulb syringe. We waited for her to cry and she let out a wet little peep. One tiny cry. She opened her eyes and looked around. I held her close to me in the warm tub and instructed my husband to get a towel. I couldn’t really move because she was attached and I didn’t know how long the cord was so I just held her there, close to the water with a towel that got soaked. After a few minutes I said, “I think with this wet towel, she may get cold”. We need to try to get the placenta out and get her detached and warm.” So I carefully stood up onto my knees in the tub and handed her to my husband while I pushed the placenta out. He handed her back to me and got a bowl to put it in so it wouldn’t just be floating around in the tub.

I then asked him to get some scissors to cut the cord since the placenta was out and it had been about 5 minutes. He found some kitchen scissors and again, cleaned them off the best we could in limited time and then he cut her cord.

This is the time my midwife and my friend arrived. I was sitting in the tub; holding her, cord freshly cut. We explained what had just happened and that we had just cut the cord. “Did you clamp it?” she said. “No I didn’t even think about that, I just thought we needed to get her warm and in a dry clean towel.

So my midwife, a bit stunned that this had all just happened in the 15 minutes she was in route, quickly dug into her bag, found a clamp, put it on, and then cut the cord to a proper length (we were smart for cutting it long).

I told my friend thank you for coming but our daughter had slept through the whole thing.

My midwife then took on the grandmotherly role helping us manage self- care, and we passed the baby to daddy so that I could get out of the tub and we could get her bundled.

I arose from the tub dazed. Did that all just really happen? Did I deliver my own baby?

I was not bleeding profusely as I had believed, I have two TINY hairline tears that stitches would cause more damage to then good, so it’s not needed, and the baby latched on right away and is rosy cheeked and healthy as an ox.

Certainly if I was not planning to give birth at home, she would have been born in the car on the way to the birth center or the hospital.

Thank god for my husband, my birthing tub, my daughter for sleeping through the whole thing, and my baby for entering this world so swiftly.

It was a crazy ride and I’m so glad that I was on it.

Oh AND while I’m blogging away because I’m still high on love hormones, can’t sleep, and want to record this to the best of my memory, my husband made me breakfast in bed (banana pancakes, and bacon), is cleaning up all of the mess, and taking care of our older daughter. Life is good.

But I realized that a lot of the techniques and tools that we learn so thoroughly in preparation for childbirth are very similar to coping skills that can help us deal with day-to-day life.  Here are some examples.

1. Breathe Deeply.  This one sounds like a no-brainer.  But have you noticed your breathing today?  Are you drawing in deep breaths, down into your stomach?  Take a deep breath now.  See how your body responds to it.  Your body and mind respond to deep breathing profoundly; it’s the most powerful message you can send to your body to tell it that everything is okay.  People always say that when you are facing a difficulty you should take a deep breath.  But don’t wait until you are going crazy from anxiety.  Breathe deeply now.
2. This too shall pass. It is very common to feel as though the difficult situation you are in is never going to get better.  But when you are in labor, you know that that isn’t true: this contraction is going to be a minute, maybe ninety seconds long, and then it is going to end.  No matter how difficult it is now, you know that in just a little while it will let up and give you a break.  It’s harder to see this clearly in day-to-day life, but it’s just as true.  Think to yourself: this is a contraction.  Soon it will pass.
3. Focus on the moment.  During labor, we are taught that when we are in a contraction, we are fully in the contraction; and when we are resting, we are fully resting.  If, during a rest, we do nothing but think about how horrible this last contraction was and fear the horrible contraction to come, we will get dragged down in fear and worry.  And if we allow ourselves to think, “How much longer is this going to take?” and “I don’t think I can make it”, we are certainly going to despair.  This is true for life as well.  Live in today.  What are the tasks that need to be accomplished right now?
4. Listen to your body. How many of us forget about our bodies after the birth?  How many of us forget to eat breakfast or to take a nap when we have the chance?  Your body is a powerful and amazing thing all the time, and you need to take care of it!

What techniques have you reapplied from childbirth to everyday coping?

I suppose every woman has a few affirmations that speak to her more than the others.  For me, the crux of the collection was this:

I am prepared to calmly meet whatever turn my birthing may take.

I didn’t have a lot of expectations for my birth.  I wasn’t expecting it to be short or easy.  I kept an open mind about Mongan’s claim about birth not needing to be painful, and knew that I would deal with the birth beautifully whether it was painful or not.  But I really, really, really wanted my homebirth.  I was terrified of needing a hospital transfer.  I was terrified of needing a C-section.  I was terrified of letting go of my dream.

I am prepared to calmly meet whatever turn my birthing may take.

I just  couldn’t hear it enough.

But a few weeks before my birth, I came across a very unusual birth story.  It goes as follows.

Sivan was pregnant with her fourth child and preparing for a homebirth.  She was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the middle of her pregnancy, but she did not let that worry her.  Her 39-week ultrasound estimated the baby’s size at an impressive 4.4 kg (9.7 lbs).  This did not bother her either; she knew how notorious ultrasounds are for being inaccurate.

But her midwife was concerned.  She took a good look at all the factors involved, and told her that with all the data she had, she did not feel safe accepting this birth at home, and with great sympathy told her that in her professional opinion, a C-section would be the safest course for this particular baby.

Sivan was shocked.  She trusted her midwife and knew that she would never recommend a planned C-section without a really good reason, but she couldn’t grasp the idea that her midwife would tell her such a thing.  What about the inaccuracy of ultrasounds?  What about the inaccuracy of the glucose tolerance test?  What about the idea that women’s bodies have been doing this for millenia and know how to birth big babies too?

Eventually she began to accept that her midwife was not just being over-cautious.  In the case of gestational diabetes, it is the shoulders of the baby that put on a lot of weight, and the risk of true shoulder dystocia in this case was too high to ignore.  She did not want to put her baby at risk.

But a C-section?  After all her hopes for a perfect homebirth?

Sivan described going to the beach and watching the waves and wanting to just give birth there, alone, trusting her body to do what it knew how to do, proving to everyone how wrong they were.  She cried for the loss of her dream birth, feeling helpless, hopeless and disempowered.

As she sat there, she got a call from her midwife.  “Just wanted to check in on you.  I know you will be okay.  You’re not the type of person who gets stuck in the past, I got that feeling from you long ago.  Just remember one thing: at the surgery, despite all the disappointment, you are still going to meet your baby.  Remember?  It’s a celebration!  Go in celebration!”

From that moment, something changed.

Sivan went home and informed the hospital that she would not be coming that day, but on Sunday.  And that her surgery would not be on Sunday, but on Tuesday.  Why?  Because that’s what she wanted.  She was taking this birth into her hands.  Who said a C-section couldn’t be an active birth?!

She and her husband arrived at the hospital like a pair of celebrities arriving for their premiere, all dressed up and full of joy.  They asked every staff member for his or her name and chatted with them.  Sivan insisted on sitting, not lying down, on the bed as she was wheeled into the OR.  As the surgeon prepared for the incision, she asked him to tell her exactly what he was doing.  She described the moments of joy as her son was born, and when he was brought to her from across the curtain and put next to her cheek; how she wriggled her arm out of the restraint and stroked him.  Her husband waited with the baby carrier, took the baby and never left his side as the operation was completed.  Sivan insisted on giving the surgeon a hug before she was wheeled to recovery.  Determined to recover and see her baby, as soon as she felt some sensation in her legs she tried to move them, and she expressed some colostrum to prepare her breasts for nursing.  She refused morphium for the pain and had them give her Ibuprofin instead.  The staff was in shock at her quick recovery and determination to function.  When her beautiful, 9.8-pound boy was finally brought to her, she didn’t wait even one minute before attaching him to her breast.  “Don’t you want to wait until we reach the ward?”  The orderly asked in amazement.  No.  Not a chance.

She turned one of the worst nightmares of any homebirther into a positive, happy experience.  A celebration.  After all, a birth is a birth.

I am prepared to calmly meet whatever turn my birthing may take.

After I read that story, something changed in me as well.  I realized that the lack of control I had over my birth did not mean I was helpless.  There is always a choice, and the choice is in your response to the situation you are in.  You can choose to see a C-section as a failure, a nightmare.  Or you can choose to see it as a birth; not what you wanted, not ideal, but a birth nonetheless.

Suddenly, I was able to let go.

And my birth was amazing.

After speaking with my midwife the other day, we came to the conclusion that I may need to eat more foods rich in iron. I did not take a formal test or anything but just have been feeling tired again lately. In a pregnant woman’s second and third trimester, it is really important to increase her protein intake because this is when the baby is growing the fastest. This will also help keep the mother’s energy levels up.

I am proud to say that this had been on my radar before my midwife suggested it. And that in general, pregnancy has made me a better eater. I was never a bad eater, always leaning towards the healthy side of things. There was an 8-year stint where I was a vegetarian after declaring one day in junior high school that I didn’t like meat. And I was a strict, young vegetarian, never consuming ANY products with meat (including fish) in them. During that, there were short times when I tried to be vegan because I love animals so much but I love cheese, chocolate, and ice cream more. Then there was a long stretch of college where I thought I was superwoman and worked full time and attended school more than full time (18-21 credits per semester). This ended the vegetarianism. I was too burnt out, and too poor to afford expensive veggie protein to feed myself properly, and too busy to be creative with meal choices to increase my protein so I turned to the dark side and ate some chicken. Fast-forward about 7 years and now I enjoy all foods equally and still have a soft spot in my heart and belly for veggie delights!

My point is; through my life of relatively healthy eating, I have never felt as healthy as I do since becoming a mom (which I count as finding out I was pregnant with my first baby). From that point on, my eating changed from what I want to eat, to what my baby needs to eat and what foods my baby needs to nurse and grow big and strong. I have developed a way of eating that I call “intuitive eating”. I did not read a book about this though I know that they exist. I literally, just plan out my meals, shop for foods, and stand in front of my refrigerator and think “what does my body need right now?”, “what does the baby need right now?” “Have I had my protein for the day?” “My grains?” “My fruits and veggies?” etc…I eat really clean, part for my love of the farmer’s market and part because it’s easiest for me. I buy a bunch of fruits and veggies for the week, protein for each day in the week, and dairy (and dairy alternatives). I always have healthy fats (peanut butter, avocado, olive oil, butter, etc ) and grains in stock. Each day I put together whatever combination of what I have based on my hunger and nutritional needs for the day.

When I was pregnant with daughter #1, I gained 35 lbs. I did not try/ try not to gain this amount of weight, I just listened to what my body needed and in return it gave me an easy natural labor and birth process and a healthy baby girl. My midwife said that “every woman’s body is perfect for her baby” when women get snarky comments from observers for “looking too big, too small, etc. I love this. Anyway, after she was born I lost 20 lbs of it almost instantly (baby’s weight, uterus, fluids, placenta) and then breastfed her. In addition to the 35 lbs I gained, I lost an extra 15. I did not “work out”. I just listened to what my body needed, ate healthily, consciously, and the weight came off. There were times where I would pass on dessert and that’s pretty much it.

When you have a baby that you nourish through nursing, you are responsible for how they are growing. Even if I wanted to, was tempted to, for my daughter’s well being I could not develop an unhealthy way of eating. It truly saddens me that women are blasted with media that talks about “getting your body back after baby” and that celebrities flaunt their bikini-ready bodies weeks after birth. In my experience, there was no way I was going to work out on a consistent basis with a newborn. AND there was no way I was willing to try ANY kind of diet. What I look like in a skimpy outfit is not important, what is important is the health of my child and myself. What worked for me is truly listening to my body’s needs, my baby’s needs, and making conscious choices.