by Allison Gamble
When a baby is born, it’s usually seen as an exciting event for both the parents and extended family. However, with the new bundle of joy come a host of other responsibilities such as the stress of meeting additional financial obligations, the loss of sleep and sometimes a redefining of one’s identity as a parent. While most mothers and fathers greet their new children with excitement and gladness, it doesn’t take a psychology degree to understand how some parents might experience a period of sadness after their babies are born. If you’ve just had a baby and you find that you aren’t feeling quite like your usual self, you may be suffering from a common disorder known as postpartum depression.
Depression takes many forms and manifests in many different ways. After the birth of a baby, some parents experience postpartum depression, characterized as an emotional distress or sadness brought on by major life changes and additional responsibilities associated with becoming a parent. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 9 to 16 percent of mothers will experience some degree of postpartum depression. These sort of depression doesn’t just effect first-time parents, but can also impact parents who’ve already had children before. The APA also reports that parents who suffered from postpartum depression during their first pregnancy are 41 percent more likely to experience the disorder during subsequent pregnancies.
Most people associate postpartum depression with motherhood, and might be surprised to learn that it affects fathers as well. According to researchers from the Eastern Virginia Medical School, 10.4 percent of fathers become depressed after the birth of their children. Unlike postpartum depression in mothers, which is thought to be closely related to hormone fluctuation after childbirth, fathers who suffer from postpartum depressive episodes could be negatively impacted by sleep deprivation, friction with their partners, isolation from friends and family, and a sudden loss of intimacy with their partners due to the new presence of a baby.
Generally speaking, most parents expect the first year of their children’s lives to be a challenge as they learn to cope with the demands of a fluctuating feeding, sleeping, and changing schedule. Many are prepared for months of sleepless nights with the new baby. As parents develop these schedules and fine-tune their new parenting skills, many have to sacrifice personal relationships and their own wants and needs in order to provide stability for their new babies. As parents give up more and more of their own personal lives, they can subconsciously begin to harbor feelings of unhappiness that can sometimes develop into full-blown depression. In many cases, these types of feelings are exacerbated when parents experience disturbance in their sleep and eating routines, or feel especially stressed.
The Eastern Virginia Medical School researchers reported symptoms in men’s postpartum depression differ from those mothers experience. For instance, depressed fathers are more likely to exhibit hostility and sometimes even outright aggression. While some men also reported feeling overwhelmed by the expectations of fatherhood, other men reported feeling trapped by the responsibilities of becoming a family man. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to simply become depressed or sad rather than hostile.
How do you know if you are suffering from postpartum depression, or how serious it is? According to The Mayo Clinic, if you experience these types of feelings after the birth of your child, and they don’t begin to fade after two weeks, or if you feel as though it’s too hard for you to care for your baby, you may need the assistance of a therapist. Thoughts of harming oneself or one’s baby could be symptoms of postpartum psychosis, a very serious condition which requires the immediate help of a mental health professional.
There are many resources available to help parents cope and treat postpartum depression. New dads should begin by sharing their feelings with their partners. Together, you can choose to speak with a counselor or psychologist who will help you sort through your feelings and advise clinical treatment if necessary. If you’re wary of talking with a mental health professional, try talking to a personal mentor or a trusted adviser who might be able to recommend coping skills to help you deal with your feelings.
Parents should be aware that caring for a new baby can be challenging and even frustrating at times, but these feelings shouldn’t be totally overwhelming. Be sure to talk to your partner about your feelings and take time for yourself as best you can. While the vast majority of the attention given to postpartum depression focuses on women, society tends to forget that fathers share many of the same burdens and stresses after the birth of their children. Above all else, men should not hesitate and should not feel ashamed to reach out for help if they feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of parenthood.
Allison Gamble has been a curious student of psychology since high school. She brings her understanding of the mind to work in the weird world of internet marketing with psychologydegree.net.
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