Breastfeeding: Gratitude

I always knew I would breastfeed. I was lucky enough to be breastfed myself, lucky enough to grow up in an era (the 70′s) when natural birth and parenting were popular, lucky enough to be born in a region of the U.S. (northern California) where breastfeeding was the norm. As a result, I was breastfed for 18 months by a mother who was never breastfed herself. Long enough that I have what I think is a single, fleeting, flash of a memory of actually doing it: it was evening, my mom lifted me into her lap, into the rocking chair in our living room, and then: comfort. That’s all I have. But this little scrap of a memory was enough to sustain the idea that I would always breastfeed my own children, even when natural parenting seemed to dip in popularity, when many of my childhood friends proclaimed it was gross, or later that they didn’t want to ‘ruin’ their boobs by nursing babies.

When my daughter was born, I assumed that this normal, natural function of my body & partnership with my new baby would happen easily, seamlessly. I had the right attitude, I had the right equipment & now I had the baby. Boy, was I wrong. Gretta was born ‘tongue-tied’ – the little piece of skin that attaches our tongues to the bottom of our mouths was too short – and she had terrible difficulty latching on. It went undiagnosed in the hospital and for five long, miserable days after she was born we struggled with nursing. Struggled to the point that if she was held cross-body (for any reason), she’d start crying (and so would I).

I think many moms would have given up at this point, opened up a can of formula and never looked back. Again, I was lucky – I had the support you’d expect of my mother, my midwives, my husband, and also health insurance that covered the rental of a hospital-grade pump. But also, and maybe most importantly, some unexpected support: our pediatrician.

At our first doctor visit a couple of days after she was born, Gretta had lost several ounces – he was surprisingly unconcerned. I told him we were really having trouble nursing, that she would take a little pumped breast milk, but not latch on despite the efforts of two midwives and the advice of many La Leche moms. Without blinking an eye, opened up his closet, took out a formula feeding kit (my heart dropped), REMOVED THE FORMULA (my eyebrows went up), leaving bottles and a carrying case for pumped milk, and then gave me the number of the mother of one of his clients who happened to be a lactation consultant. It was so simple – he acted like what we were going through was normal, to be expected & FIXABLE. That simple act – removing the formula from that free-sample case – demonstrated so clearly to me that despite Gretta’s weight loss & continued difficulty latching on, he was confident that breastfeeding was the best choice & that we’d get it worked out. It was in a word: awesome.

The lactation consultant we saw was nothing short of magic – she had us breastfeeding in 20 minutes, no looking back. At the time she was my savior, manna from heaven, my breastfeeding goddess. In retrospect though, I think the real hero of this story is that pediatrician. He was in a position to make or break my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter & he chose to support us. Had he been an alarmist, had he been overly concerned with Gretta’s weight loss, had he sent us home with formula, if he hadn’t trusted the lactation consultant – I’m not sure, even given my resolve, my upbringing, and my education if I would have been able to go on to develop the care-free, amazing nursing relationship Gretta and I shared.

I’d like to celebrate this year’s World Breastfeeding Week by giving kudos to those people in our lives whose help we needed to do one of the most normal & rewarding things on the planet: feed our babies. Please take a moment to add a comment with the names and contact info (and stories if you want!) of breastfeeding-friendly professionals who helped you along the way.

Pediatrician:
Izak Reischer MD
Phone: (718) 268-6200
72-38 113th Street
Forest Hills, NY, 11375

Lactation Consultant:
Catherine Watson Genna, BS, IBCLC
Email: cwgenna@covad.net
Phone: 718 846-2323
Location: Woodhaven, Queens, NY
More info: http://lactspeak.com/speakers/CatherineWatson%20Genna/

Loves Letters

It’s February and our minds turn to love. Everything seems to be hearts and flowers no matter where you go. So I’m going to take a minute here to spend some time sharing the love, naming thank you notes.

I actually do call these loves letters when I talk about them in my childbirth classes or to my doula clients. You write love letters to people who went out of their way to help you during your birth. (There is a flip side to this and while those letters are equally important, we’re going to save that for another day.)

Thank you notes should be personal. Share how their actions helped you specifically, but quickly, no need to be wordy. If you can do it hand written, that is always a nice thing to do. But sometimes, that’s hard or you don’t feel like your handwriting is legible. Consider enclosing a photo of you together with this person if applicable. (More tips on writing thank you notes.)

If you gave birth in a hospital and you are writing to someone from that institution be sure to consider the following:

• Include as much identifying information as you can about the recipient. It may have been difficult to get a last name during labor or you’ve forgotten it. But addressing it to Eve, BSN on 3-11 p.m. 12/8/09 will get to the right person.
• Copy that person’s supervisor. This can mean a difference come raise time or even promotion wise.

Some families want to do gifts. While this can be appropriate consider your recipient. Many nurses say that while they love the trays of cookies or flowers, the thank you note would help them more with their bosses.

Midwives, doulas, childbirth educators and lactation consultants may have varied needs for recognition with a boss. That will depend on a variety of factors. But if you want to do a gift in addition to your letter, consider donations to favorite charities, a scholarship fund for their profession, or a local fund set up to help cover childbirth class or doula fees, breast pump rentals and the like.

Show us your examples of loves letters you’re written or received as it pertains to birth in the comments!